Obituary of Barbara Selsky Friedman

Barbara Selsky Friedman, 87, of Freehold Township, NJ passed away peacefully at home surrounded by family on July 30, 2021. She was born in The Bronx, NY to Calman and Ruth Becker. She spent 12 years as an only child until her life was upended by the birth of her baby sister, Jayne.  She attended NYC public schools and graduated from high school in three year – a fact she took great pride in. She earned her BS in Zoology from the University of Connecticut.  Barbara married Philip Selsky the summer after graduating. Their nearly 30 year marriage was filled with the adventure of raising their children. They moved to Freehold Township, NJ with four kids in tow in 1966.  She thought their new home was the Taj Majal.  Soon after, she answered the call of the growing suburban community and began her 25 year love affair with teaching in Manalapan-Englishtown. She so enjoyed her profession and in later years, as her students aged, they all remembered 7th grade Biology with Mrs. Selsky.  Summers were spent at Brookside Swim Club where lifelong friendships were established. Barbara was a bold, open-minded feminist with a flair for fashion. She leaned toward vibrant colors, large prints and long bright painted nails. After Phil’s passing in 1984, she reconnected and married her college friend, Stephen Friedman and enjoyed Atlantic City and traveling during their retirement.  Steve passed in 1999.  The ensuing years were days filled with her 12 grandchildren, art classes, playing and teaching mah jong and canasta, book clubs and trips with the family. One of the highlights was taking the entire family on a Caribbean cruise.  Barbara was always asking “How are the kids? Are they happy?”  In her final years, family gatherings for holidays, birthdays or any reason at all were her best days.  She loved her adopted therapy pets, Corey Booker and Trixie who brought comfort and company when she needed it most. 

Barbara was predeceased by her first husband, Philip Selsky in 1984; her second husband, Stephen Friedman in 1999; and her oldest son, Fred Selsky in 2010. She is survived by her children, Robin Sebor and her husband, Tom, Mitchell Selsky and his wife, Beth, and Lisa Hendricks and her husband, Robert; and her daughter-in-law, Nancy Selsky.  She will forever be loved and remembered by her grandchildren, Andrew, Lyle, Philip, Cal, Jeffrey, Ty, Billy, Michael, Ray, Kevin, Jake and Ruthanne.  She also leaves her loving sister, Jayne Sonshine and Jayne’s son Zack, who took special care whenever needed.

A graveside service will be held on Sunday August 1, 2021 at 10:30 AM at Cedar Park & Beth El Cemeteries, 735 Forrest Avenue, Paramus NJ 07652. Followed by outdoor Shiva at the home of Mitchell and Beth Selsky, 757 Eagle View Ridge, Brick, NJ from 2:30 PM to 8:00 PM, lunch will be served.  Arrangements are under the direction of the Clayton & McGirr Funeral Home, Freehold Township.  For those who desire, donations may be made in Barbara’s name to a charity of your choice. For information, directions or to leave condolence messages to the family, visit www.claytonfuneralhome.com.